The Longest Goodbyes of My Life

One day we will both look back, and realize that out of stubbornness, foolishness, and perhaps even the fault of timing, that we let the loves of our lives slip away. I move on from the past to the present now, with hope that one day I will be able to love again. But no matter where I go, what I do, or who I am with, Gaston will always contain with him, a very large piece of my heart. There is a hole there now, a gaping, throbbing hole, in the fleshy red meat that beat so long for only him. And out of unwillingness to compromise myself, I let him slip away. And out of unwillingness to compromise himself, he let me slip away. And now we both ache, because alone we face each day. Goodbye my love. Know that I will die loving you, no matter who comes along that is better fit, I will always love you. In life and in death I shall think of you, and pray for you.

It hurt to hold on, and it hurts to move on. When I think of you, I can only feel pain. When I think of you, I think I may go insane. And when I think of you, I find myself to blame. And when I think of you, I find we're both to blame. I pray for this to be done, and I pray to feel numb. This was the war that no one won. I just wanted love. I just wanted someone to really put me first for once. I was selfish, and I realize that now. I just wanted a demonstration of your love. I wanted to be swept off my feet. Absence made the heart grow fonder, but it also made it wander, because I always felt so alone. It does not matter why now, it is far too late. I have nothing left now, I am blank. I wish you could have stepped up to the plate. I know I am difficult, and I know I have ridiculous demands, but if I was worth it to you, I wish you would have fixed this. But it was not only up to you, this was not only your fault, but mine. I see that now with time. I went about everything wrong. And now we have nothing. I have nothing. You have nothing. All we can do is move forward with faith and save face.

I guess being 31, single, and sad, looks like this. A word of advice: don't try and snag another woman's man by tricking him, or by getting him drunk. You will always end up looking like a pathetic loser. I feel sorry for stupid women.

Thinking Back

So much happened between those kisses.
So many streets traversed.
So many convoluted routes.
Just to wind up here today; without him.

this time around

I sure have made a mess of things.

For Now I Say Farewell

Paying very close attention to the needs of others, I swallowed my pride like a lump of crow carcass. Eating as if I was your starved pet cat, I showed contempt. I walk away with a pocket full of memories. Now back on my own path again, I tread lightly; trying not to repeat any of my past mistakes. I've grown. Little Thumbelina is now life size. And though you cannot fit me into your pocket anymore, I hope you will appreciate my honesty and forgive me for the hurt I have caused you. Hablando con idiomas distintos, es como no puedes entender mis sentimientos completamente. Pero, te lo aseguro que yo sé lo que hago y lo que digo. I thank you for the good times, and forgive you for the bad ones. Espero que sientas como yo. Though we've never quite seen ojo a ojo. For now I wish you well, and for now I say farewell.

Catrina

Quando

They say that when one door closes, another one opens. I wish you well.

You destroyed me. Live with it.